So... this is how my morning has gone:

(live chat with centurylink people to get my account balance since I can't log in to see a thing or pay or whatever...)

(actual "chat" transcript below)

Thank you for using CenturyLink.com. A CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultant will be with you in just a moment. Your account information is confidential and protected by law. Advise our agent if you prefer that we don't use it to market products or repair your services. This has no effect on the service or offers we provide you. CenturyLink offers a bill block at no charge which prevents some 3rd party charges from appearing on your bill. This chat may be monitored and recorded for quality assurance.

Thank you for contacting CenturyLink. My name is Jason A. How may I help you today?

Spdychevy: Hello Jason,

Spdychevy: I am having trouble accessing my account

Spdychevy: I want to view my bill

Spdychevy: I seem to have forgotten my password and when I try to enter my email (I'm using spdychevy@gmail.com) I'm told it's not found

Jason A: Hello Shann. I can assist your login today. May I have your account number please?

Spdychevy: I'm sorry, I don't have that right now either

Jason A: That is fine, I can use your billing address as well.

Spdychevy: OK it is:

Spdychevy:  1234 W Blahblah Dr, Blah, WA 98500 (not my real address, but I gave them my real address)

Jason A: I do apologize, but unfortunately I do not see your name as the account holder or authorized user on the account so I am unable to grant you any information. For more information on this account, please have an authorized user call us at 1-800-491-0118.

Jason A: Thank you for using CenturyLink.com today. Our goal is to provide you with excellent service and we appreciate your business. Please take a moment to give us your feedback by completing the post chat survey. If you need further assistance, please click here for additional customer service options on CenturyLink.com.

Thank you for using CenturyLink.com. Your chat session has ended.

Spdychevy: What do you mean you don't see my name as the account holder??? WHAT?

You are not currently in a chat session.

Spdychevy:  WHAT?

You are not currently in a chat session.

Spdychevy:  W. T. F. ??? You hung up on me????

You are not currently in a chat session.

Spdychevy:  FUCK YOUUUUUUU!!!!

You are not currently in a chat session.

Yep, I was hung up on in live customer support CHAT. I behaved badly AFTERWARDS. I pulled myself together

So I called the number he gave me. Wrong number. They had to transfer me. TWICE. And then that guy had to transfer me AGAIN. Just to get to the right place to help me reset my password because they couldn't "see" my account or my bill. 

Should have known I was going to be in "stickershock" if I ever made it to actually talk to a person. 

And sadly, I was not wrong: $149.25 for less than one month of low/mid speed DSL. I don't get where they pulled that figure from. My bill is supposed to be around 52 bucks without the tax (figure 60 bucks high estimate with the tax). The total listed is about 3 months worth of service for around 25 days of use. 

Of. Effing. Course. 

Of course they have the total available but even they can't see the billing detail just yet so I'll have to call back on Monday, when it might be able "to be seen" so I can find out why it's so much. I was told it might be a lot of "one time charges" but it won't be known for sure until the actual billing detail can be view. Of. Effing. Course. 

Fuming. Just Fuming.

I wish it wasn't pouring down rain right now, I'd go chop some wood or something to work off my anger. It does no good to be angry, I know this. My temper has just been a little short lately when dealing with stuff like this. "It's obviously a billing screw up but please call back when "we" can see the bill, until then, you have until the day after Christmas to come up with 3 months worth of bill for a little over 3 weeks worth of service". 

Hmmm...no wood chopping but there is a debris pile in the yard I need to burn. Maybe I'll just go set it on fire. FIRE! YEAH!! FIRE!!!

I'm sure I'll feel a little better...now to remember where my son put the gasoline...