Oceans of books...

When I was a kid, living in a rural area, the books you owned were treasures. They were scarce and hard to get a hold of compared to now. There were quite a few books in our house but still it was a very limited amount compared to many households today. You could sneak some from your parents to read but they didn't have that many either and they were usually either two ways: not too entertaining or way too entertaining. Not really for you but they were stories (yeah!) and most of the time any story was better than none :)

You could go to the school library during the school year but you always had to give them back (lol) and then there were the long drawn out days of summer, dusty and dry of books. If chores were done we might get a ride or we could walk or ride our bikes to the school (3 miles one way) on the days the bookmobile came and hope you got there before all the "good ones" were gone. Even when the bookmobile came you had to carefully dole your choices out to yourself to try to make them last until the next visit and you still ran out even if you read them all again...2 weeks until the next visit LOL

I grew up reading darn near anything I could get my hands on. Somehow I imparted this love, this addiction of the printed page  on to my children and they are voracious readers as well. E-readers are nice yes but the books, all the books...oh the lovely books...our house is overflowing with books. We have boxes and boxes upon boxes of books. We need to do some purging. Reasonably. And we will still need more bookshelves LOL.

Guess what I'm doing today :)

Big box of gauze

For the last five years every time my Dad came home from the hospital he would give me a bag of things he had "collected" during his stay. If someone came in with 5 packs of gauze and only used part of one he'd put the other unopened four in the bag. If they used some tape they'd end up giving him the remaining rolls they had brought to go in his bag. Same with any antibiotic ointment, zinc oxide, iodine packets, rubber gloves, even hand lotion. Everything the nurse would bring in to the room had to either stay or be thrown away, it couldn't go back to the cart (VA policy for ALL wound and hygiene care supplies). They'd give him "extra" to take home too...and he'd always make sure he had a bag of this stuff to give to me as well, because "You need this because if you have it you probably won't need it" is what he used to say.

So thanks to my Dad, I have this big (huge) box of sterile med wound care supplies, gauze and tape and such (plus our household first aid stuff) in the cupboard. Grief sneaks up on you in the strangest places. Sometimes you open the cupboard door and there it is, that barely formed scab ripped away and the agonizing wound of loss all fresh and gooey just like it happened a couple hours, minutes, seconds ago. That feeling of drowning in sorrow, of loss and heartache knowing that there is no one there anymore, that's just a shell. The spark that made them who they were, that amazing person has passed and you will never see their big smile and their eyes light up on this Earth again.

The only regret I have is that we didn't have more time, that he didn't have more time but the truth is that there never would have been enough time. I'm greedy, I would have always wanted more.

Most days I'm OK, which means I'm grieving yes, and I'm sad (of course) but I'm making it through the day instead of lying face down on the floor and crying into the carpet. Just carrying him in my heart and doing what I can, going forward and living my life as I always have and continue making him proud. It's the best thing I can do, it's the only thing for me to do. I'm moving forward and missing him yes and tearing up now and then or crying a little here and there but not wallowing in my grief.

Most days that is.

And I'm just a basket case right now over a big box of gauze. He was my hero and my champion and I miss him so much sometimes it hurts to breathe.

Hug your loved ones close and make sure they know they are loved every time you part from them. It's the best thing you can ever do for someone, make sure they know they are loved.

Peace out.

a mixed bag

For all of you who are missing your loved ones during the holidays, I'm sending you hugs and prayers for ease because it can be so hard this time of year missing them and the world can seem so much colder and darker for it at times. Missing a loved one who has passed is just miserable at any time, it just seems so much worse sometimes during the holidays.

This time of year is a mixed bag for me. There is Christmas coming (yay!) and looking forward to time spent with family (yay!yay!yay!) and the kids on their breaks and enjoying all of it (oh yeah!) but there's also this time of year different anniversaries of loved ones that have passed. Maggie B. (yesterday) and my beloved Aunt Jan (Saturday) and my grandpa Tom's birthday on Tuesday. This is also our first Christmas without Dad. All these people who I will miss for the rest of my life who used to be such a huge part of our holidays and every day.

It's been a brutal year and I'll be glad to see the back of it.
Like I said, it's a mixed bag for me because I'm also looking forward to the holidays and spending time with my family, I love seeing my nieces and nephews and hearing their stories and what they've been up to and best of all, hearing them laugh. I know my blessings when I see them running by or stop to give me hugs and I cherish them but I also wish I could share these awesome kids of mine and my siblings with loved ones who aren't here anymore so yes, I'm sad about that but thinking about them all together: Now that would be one heck of a party!

Hugs and prayers going out to those that need them.

Ten years ago today...

Today marks a decade since my departure of the full time work force & entry into "involuntary early retirement". Am I better now than I was? Well it goes like a roller coaster, ups & downs & all around in a big circle. Some days you're the windshield & some days you're the bug & some times if you're feeling very zen you're both.

I left Even Start for the final time in October 2005. So strange. It's been a retrospective morning all the way around.

I lost everything but what really matters in those turbulent first years and looking back there weren't even a handful of days I was well enough to go to work outside my home...let alone a full work week. 10 years of being so ill that dressing let alone walking was/is a challenge some days. 10 years of pain and sickness...sounds really depressing doesn't it? Well here's the thing: it's really not. Looking back over these last years I realize I have persevered against so many things and people stacked against me it is amazing.

I have done things important both to me and my family and things that I only dreamed of before. It hasn't been easy and at times it's been downright horrible and facedown on the pavement depressing but in the end I am still breathing and still trying and still fighting and I still know what is most important and can still enjoy life and some people never know how blessed they truly are. I do.

I've busy sleeping a lot in between other stuff

Trying to get myself together. Summer has finally arrived and the weather has been record breaking HOT.

The resulting effect of the hot weather upon me has been me sleeping. Excessively.
But I'm feeling pretty good over all :)
It's like I'm catching up from all the restless unrefreshing sleep and constant fatigue from pain from this winter.

My pain levels are down down down. I still have pain yes, but not like this winter.

I am truly enjoying it while it lasts :)

We've been busy. Well. I've been busy trying to get stuff done before the rains come back. Stuff like the downstairs floor. The kitchen. The living room. The roof. Ug!

BRB...

Up from the first nap of the day. Nap. Huh. Like it's a voluntary thing. LOL. yeah. right. LOL.

Just going to go crawl in the shower and get on with the day before it gets too hot to function! Maybe pictures of progress later :)

Well, it never got at hot as predicted and that is good :) :) :)

I've busy sleeping a lot in between other stuff.  I'm going to be busy for awhile. Not just with our projects at home as it turns out. A friend (who lives in AZ) called and needed us to help her out with her storage unit here in WA. It seems a church group told her they would help her out and take everything in the storage unit as donations and then sweep out the storage unit etc so she just went ahead and turned in the keys since they were just emptying it out etc. It turns out they only took the big $$$ stuff and left a huge mess going through all the boxes etc. That was last month. She just found out about the mess left (she was supposedly cleared out of there last month) the day before yesterday. The storage unit owner said if we can get the stuff out and get it swept they won't charge her another month but they are elderly and can't do it themselves and would have to hire someone so they would have to charge her for that too. They were shocked the church group did that too and they feel sorry for my friend and have been really nice in helping us to help my friend but what a mess! It's going to take at least two more days of moving stuff and I figuring five days (at the least) for me to recover from the thing (and I'm not lifting anything, I'm just packing boxes etc).

Hope everyone had (or is still having) an awesome Independence Day!

 I loved spending the day with the bunch, love my nieces and nephews, it was so great :)


Here is a wonderful fireworks show from a different perspective. It's so beautiful, definitely worth the watch: Fireworks filmed from the inside via drone (click on the link, it's awesome!)

and winding down our wonderful Independence Day but not the end of our 4th of July weekend, I leave you with one of my favorite songs this time of year: Mother Freedom by Bread. Give it a chance, you might like it LOL.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!

Question of the Week #54

The "Sunday Morning Craftiness" Studio

So yesterday I loaded up a bag with some beading supplies and went to my Mom's for "Sunday Morning Craftiness" (that's what we are calling it anyway, lol). 

One of my mom's many hobbies is quilting and she's really good but as her Parkinson's progresses she has more troubles so she's trying to get some specialty quilts she's always wanted to do crossed off her list before she's back to "grade school level" (her words, not mine, I never progressed above high school level in most areas of sewing, lol). She's currently working on a puffy quilt for one of my brothers for his birthday (July 7th) and we needed to put in a major crafting session since she wants to present it to him on the 4th. It's a king size quilt so even with her previous dexterity she would still have needed help with this large amount of fabric.

I brought my beads so she could work on her project and I mine and when she needed a hand stretching or pinning (about the extent of my skills in quilting) I could just jump up and help out. It's fun because she's got this huge long dining room table and we set up tv trays beside our respective chairs to hold our tools to keep the table from getting too cluttered for the actual projects and she likes to listen to an old time radio program (and I don't mind a bit) and we talk and sip our coffee while crafting.

One of the things we talked about was our "game plan" for Independence Day festivities--- we are having a grill fest and all but one of my siblings and their children will be attending. At last count I have 18 nieces and nephews ranging in age from 24 yrs to 6 1/2 months old. At least 14 of them are going to be in attendance. The weather is supposed to be nice so we've made sure to have the big swim rafts ready and I'm picking up some bubbles for the smaller kids on Thursday and let me tell you, I am really looking forward to all that bubble blowing and wet kid chaos!

I still have a bunch to do though and I am really enjoying getting the opportunity to get a lot of stuff done ahead so most of the entertaining prep work is minimized on the actual day. I know some of you don't celebrate this holiday but it made me wonder what everyone else is doing this week. Holiday prep or not, going out or staying home, I know everyone is doing something...even if it's just resting and recuperating.

and there is this week's question:

What is on your schedule for this week? Bunches? Nothing? Is there something in particular you are looking forward to this week? Care to share?


OK...Looking forward to hearing your answers!

Please remember to submit your suggestions and questions to: spdychevy@gmail.com with Question in the subject line and we'll get your question up here soon!

Happy Monday to all :)

Short and sweet link to the PCASG Facebook Group

Short and sweet link to the PCASG Blog

Well, it's been rough lately but it's getting better

The weather has "turned" and Spring is definitely here :) which is good news for my weary body because Spring is closer to Summer.

Summer is the best time of year for me and *THIS* is going to be an awesome Summer!

Why?

Well, for one, I will be feeling better ( I almost said like a "human being" but the truth is, I always feel like a human being but usually a pathetic painful lump of one) and my activity level will up as well the nicer the weather gets. I'm looking forward to staying off the couch and out of bed as much as possible and being outside. It's almost time to hang the hammocks out and pull out the yard furniture and get everything ready for the nice weather. Weather permitting we eat dinner outside 4-5 times a week in the warmer months. We'll have a fire going in the pit and chill out after dinner and watch the stars come out.

Really looking forward to it :)

But first, getting the yard and camping lots (next door to the house) ready. Cleaning up the winter storms debris, pulling out all the stuff we put in storage last fall and general spring clean up.

I'm really looking forward to some time playing in the dirt in the garden and working in the yard. I am currently considering raising my raised beds up about 3 more feet to make it easier for me to work in the garden but it is looking like that will be a project for next season. I've already seeded some of my starts indoors and will be moving them out soon. (Pictures coming soon, I promise). I've got the usual favorite herbs, salsa & salad fixings, several more types of Indian corn and of course a varied assortment of pumpkins, squash, zucchini etc...

Oh the anticipation :)

For now, I am heading to bed as this was "therapy day" and it's been a long day anyway. I'll be back soon I promise :) I've got the "before" pics of my pot rack project I'll be posting soon and I want to do "before" pics of the yard and grounds as well and get them up here. I've got some great yard and garden art that is going to be placed this year and I'm really excited about figuring out where it will go.

OKOKOKOK...I really have to go to bed so for now:

goodnight!!!

Update of sorts...

So, I haven't been on here in well, seems like forever except for the book list update.

I've been having a lot of pain issues (still am) with our wacky weather. It was great (got up to 80 degrees one day) and then not so great (had to turn the heaters on again, so cold & rainy/wet). Which means my joints swell among other painful things. I don't want this blog to be a constant litany of my various aches and pains when I do finally get on here but I feel like I need to point out why I am inconsistent about posting. I need to post more, I know this. I need to get on here even when sitting up is the last thing I want to do, I know this too. This is one of my forms of therapy and is a pain reliever in a sense and I need to remember this and utilize this tool for my continued well being.

OK. Working on it.

So...had a great time at the big family party at the beach. Didn't really move for 2 days after that but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

It. Was. Awesome.

There were no sly catty remarks or the wariness and worrying about inadvertently pissing someone off with a casual remark, or what I wore or didn't wear or GodForbid some "look" upon my was that is misinterpreted ---that atmosphere so usually experienced at a family gathering at my mother's, the "heavy" tense stressful worry...was not...there... I was not treated as the red headed stepchild, I was treated as a valued family member that people wanted to talk to and spend time with. It's good to feel wanted in the midst of your family. I know the unacceptable and unwanted sticking out like a sore thumb thing real well. It was peaceful, even in the midst of chaos. It was fun and there was lots and lots of good laughter and enjoyment of small manic and maniac children and good conversation. It was what I always think a family gathering should feel like. It was all of us EXCEPT  my sister and (of course) my mother. and it was very good and no negatives during a long enjoyable day :)

IT WAS AWESOME!

I enjoyed it so much I smiled non-stop for the next two days, even when I couldn't get out bed for a bit. It was soooo wonderful, and it's been so long since we all had a great family day :)

What else? Oh! I got my raised beds put in on Wednesday and on THIS Wednesday I can start planting in them. YAY!!! (They went in on Wednesday and I was down almost 2 days from that.) Saturday I got the (finally) TV moved to the media room and off my couch so the couch could be moved enough so I could put up my desk. I miss the desk in the studio...almost there AGAIN, lol. SOON.

This morning I had to turn the heater on while drinking my coffee (the joints swell and what can you do really) so it's been an ok morning, there have been many worse so OK is OK :)

Already got laundry done, water heated, made up a gallon of coffee creamer (recipe here-coming soon), working on second cup of coffee, got dressed, dried a load of laundry, talked to both my mother and father (via phone, in person would still be talking to one or the other....STILL, so, thank you very much verizon...or as we used to say in the "old" days: Thank you very much Ma Bell, lol.) Got the worm medication out for the dogs (*that* will be happening later today), two recipes written up and scheduled and half my medication taken...not doing too shabby except I'm due for a rest NOW so *that's* what I'm gonna go do now.

Later (today, lol)...