Oceans of books...

When I was a kid, living in a rural area, the books you owned were treasures. They were scarce and hard to get a hold of compared to now. There were quite a few books in our house but still it was a very limited amount compared to many households today. You could sneak some from your parents to read but they didn't have that many either and they were usually either two ways: not too entertaining or way too entertaining. Not really for you but they were stories (yeah!) and most of the time any story was better than none :)

You could go to the school library during the school year but you always had to give them back (lol) and then there were the long drawn out days of summer, dusty and dry of books. If chores were done we might get a ride or we could walk or ride our bikes to the school (3 miles one way) on the days the bookmobile came and hope you got there before all the "good ones" were gone. Even when the bookmobile came you had to carefully dole your choices out to yourself to try to make them last until the next visit and you still ran out even if you read them all again...2 weeks until the next visit LOL

I grew up reading darn near anything I could get my hands on. Somehow I imparted this love, this addiction of the printed page  on to my children and they are voracious readers as well. E-readers are nice yes but the books, all the books...oh the lovely books...our house is overflowing with books. We have boxes and boxes upon boxes of books. We need to do some purging. Reasonably. And we will still need more bookshelves LOL.

Guess what I'm doing today :)

Good News

Doc appointment today and he cleared me to start training for a overnight hike I want to do this summer. Yes I know with all the crap I am up and down with that it might sound like I've lost my mind but frankly, I'm not getting any younger and I've been frustrated with the way my diabetes meds have been working/notworking and this is also a chance to tackle these issues that have been seesawing my blood sugars anytime I try to up my activity levels when I am able to move around.
Along with upping my daily blood sugar checks he will be monitoring my A1-C's monthly and adjusting diabetes meds levels as needed. He said today that if I didn't have Fibro/CFS that I wouldn't have to take ANY diabetes meds until I was quite a bit older.
So...I am pretty excited about this (I'm sure I'll feel different once I'm in the middle of it LOL), it's going to be really hard but I'm looking forward to it too.

Coastal hike, starting out at Rialto Beach /Ozette Loop

I wanted to take my kids along this trail to Hole In The Wall when they were little but I had to wait they were old enough. By the time they could go, I couldn't...and now they're all grown up but still game for going so I'm stoked. Good Lord I miss being outside!

I already know this will be a MINIMUM six mile hike for me...you have to hike at least 3 miles in before you can set up camp for the night so at the very least... LOL It's not the first day that is the real test, it's the day after and the day after that. To be pill free again, that would just be a great bonus

Here's a closer pic of Hole in the Wall---you see that dark spot to the left of the opening? That's a person standing there. The opening is huge! :

OK, off to pretend to be productive, I'm just happy things finally feel like they might be moving forward for a change :)

ME day

So looking back on my facebook memories it looks like yesterday's whiney rant was right on schedule, LOL.

I've needed to take a "ME" day (or several) around this time of year for the last 4 out of 5 years...hmm...something to ponder, is there a pattern in all this randomness or just a randomness that mimics a pattern? :)

*THAT* and this is evidently the week I put up the tree no matter how much earlier I planned on doing it LOL

Meanwhile, here in the present ...coffee and I have made up and we've been making up for all our time spent apart.

Warning, whiney rant

Warning, whiney rant for Thursday:

This up and down weather is kicking me sideways. I've taken more dang muscle relaxers this week than I have in the last 2 months. Spent so much time in the tub soaking knotted muscles the first half of this week now I just wash my hands and my fingers prune & wrinkle right up LOL.

Coffee, my one truest love has left me unmoved and uncomforted. Tea just hits my stomach and reverses...and I'd best not be catching any of the crud going around the school right now. I refuse to even consider it!

You know what, fuzzy jammies and thick socks and back to bed for me. I have one more day until youngest goes on "break" and until then I'm going to just do this moment by moment. These next few moments for me will be best enjoyed with my eyes closed and covers over my head. I am sure (reasonably) that I will awaken if not in a much better mood at least much better to cope will all this "heavy" weather. Fuzzy socks are great attitude improvers in this house too...just saying.

Later my sweet taters!

Random quick update

Still having a pretty hard time with my legs so for now it's muscle relaxers & confined to bed or the couch. The muscle relaxers make my feet stop turning inward and pulling up but don't really do anything for the pain. I'm very thankful my kids are here right now and I'm sure glad they understand I'm frustrated & trying to be upbeat but this "unfixable" combined crap  makes finding something that lessens or stops these attacks almost impossible.

Ten years ago today...

Today marks a decade since my departure of the full time work force & entry into "involuntary early retirement". Am I better now than I was? Well it goes like a roller coaster, ups & downs & all around in a big circle. Some days you're the windshield & some days you're the bug & some times if you're feeling very zen you're both.

I left Even Start for the final time in October 2005. So strange. It's been a retrospective morning all the way around.

I lost everything but what really matters in those turbulent first years and looking back there weren't even a handful of days I was well enough to go to work outside my home...let alone a full work week. 10 years of being so ill that dressing let alone walking was/is a challenge some days. 10 years of pain and sickness...sounds really depressing doesn't it? Well here's the thing: it's really not. Looking back over these last years I realize I have persevered against so many things and people stacked against me it is amazing.

I have done things important both to me and my family and things that I only dreamed of before. It hasn't been easy and at times it's been downright horrible and facedown on the pavement depressing but in the end I am still breathing and still trying and still fighting and I still know what is most important and can still enjoy life and some people never know how blessed they truly are. I do.

Quick check in...

I was excited about sleeping in this morning. Silly me, my back decided differently so I will just plan on napping later.

Had a very productive week over all even with my behavioral issues (lol) every time I felt myself losing my temper I went and worked on a project. Been doing a lot of papercraft this week.

Yesterday I decided to break in my new cutting mat and I completed a full gift tag set, repaired and then completely revamped a writing box and upcycled & rebound some leftover materials into a nice journal.

It was a hard week but it was a good one too.

Fall Launch (we'll see)

So today marked on my calendar is the latest start date for Fall/Winter listings for Etsy for me. What this means is I have determined this is my last personal deadline to start getting stuff listed on Etsy for the 2015 holiday season.

So. I've got a ton of stuff that needs to be listed. Getting myself together to create listings is the big challenge. I'm going through all the vintage inventory and since I've had no set office all the boxes are in different locations around the house and in storage and wow, it's a lot (did I mention that already? LOL) and it's in all those different places.

I will be doing this slowly...well, actually even slower than normal for me as I spent the latter half of this weekend trying to recover from processing over 70 lbs of fruit and veggies for canning and freezing. I lucked on to a major deal at a local grocery store I shop at and it coincided with a windfall of zucchini and other bumper crop donations from a couple of local gardeners I know. I am stiff and sore and my arm, back and shoulder are very tender but my freezer and pantry is full and it gives me a huge grin looking at my destroyed kitchen. I will be able to cook some wonderful meals from the veggies preserved. So many choices: soups and sauces and casseroles and oh the yummy plans of meals to come, meals that I have prepped for to make easy but amazingly tasting dishes. All the hard stuff is done, now 30 minutes or much less and dinner is in the crockpot or on the table and it will taste like I spent all day on it instead of grabbing it out of the freezer and running for the kitchen LOL

WORTH IT!

Happy Monday all, I am going for my second cup of coffee and some well deserved rest. The listing chores will start around 9 a.m. for now, it's coffee and chill. Yep, Happy Monday indeed :)

It's offical, my heating pad is my new best friend.

And I've been hugging her dearly. Yes. Her.

I've named her Elenore and this is why:

http://youtu.be/cDjI015s044?list=FLzZSCE4uH1SPoT-UXv6d4-g

and on that happy note, I'm going to try to drink some coffee. Muscles and joints are giving me a lot of grief this morning. The weight of a coffee cup is pushing my tiny limits.

Still, the sun is out and it's warming up and I'm still here so Happy Wednesday y'all!

Wednesday couch surfing update

Well this week and the weather have combined to kick me straight to the couch, no passing go, no collecting $200 bucks and no get outta jail free cards to be had. Just lots of little naps and swollen joints and blechhhhh...

Even the good life events produce stress and combined with cruddy weather it's enough to throw me for a bit of a loop but everything is on track so it's all gooooood :)

On the bright side of this supergrey day: chili in the crock pot (planning ahead pays off yet again) bubbling away, fuzzy slippers & PJs and warm drinks and kids who will willingly bring me them AND come get the remote for me if I drop it. I just have to remember to put it down BEFORE I doze off. LOL.

Happy Wednesday, hope you all are having nice peaceful evenings

Update of sorts

Been trying to get motivated and get off the couch but between the loperamide making me sleepy and the chronic fatigue coupled with my recent foot injury making me tired as well, I've not achieved much of anything except binge watching Hart of Dixie on Netflix to avoid binging on Orange is the New Black all at once. I waited so long for season two of ONB I'm trying to string it out and enjoy it as long as possible :)

The weather has been pretty nice lately and it hasn't rained but it hasn't warmed up either. All in all it's been a pretty chilly June.

I've gotten some little stuff done here and there but most of this week I've been napping or on the couch. It's hard not to get down when I'm physically unable to do the things I need or the do the activities I want. So far I've been keeping those bummed feelings about what I haven't gotten done at bay by remembering all the stuff I have gotten done.

I won't go into the list here but I accomplished some major monthly chores for the household and did some work on several projects I've been wanting to play with for ages :) Just the enjoyment of getting to work on little things here and there helps counteract the "blahs" when I'm feeling like a definite underachiever.

One of my biggest disappointments has been wanting to write more posts here on the blog and not having done it for so many different reasons: too tired, too uncomfortable, to yukky too...all just a bunch of excuses because I really haven't been ready to face how horrible I was feeling. Now that I am feeling a little better I can admit how horrible I actually was feeling. Does that make any sense?

I just find it hard to write about anything when I feel like I haven't done anything lately but loll on the couch. BUT as I said, that's not true, I've done some stuff, really, lol. And in theory I have many things to write about but this feeling of being unproductive by feeling shackled to the couch is overwhelming at times and presents a huge mental hurdle in addition to the obvious physical obstacles I'm trying to overcome. Sometimes it's the only thing I can think about....or expend energy avoiding thinking about.

This "choosing your attitude" is some pretty hard work but it does work :)

Of course, now all I'm thinking about is the nap I'm feeling coming up. So, off to do that with no guilt, I earned it :)

Bring On The Wonder

I'm definitely due.

Bring on the Wonder for sure...

This song just soothes my soul and that is exactly what I needed a huge dose of after yesterday and my whole feeling like kicked puppy episode. Thank you Susan Enan and Sarah McLachlan for the beautiful song and Bones for using it on one of their episodes because I never would have known about it otherwise.

I started this post early this morning but I put it off because I was still busy thinking about the events from the past few days. I finally got back on my feet and got some things done that have been put off for such a long while and I started feeling really good which is such a joyful experience when it happens.

Then yesterday wasn't such a good day. It started out great, I felt great, low low pain and "gung-ho" to get going on my lists. It was such a good feeling but then it tipped and I ended up on the couch, thwarted by exhaustion again. It was beautiful out too so feeling like a dull lump slumped in front of the tv was a double bummer for me. I love being outside and hate when the weather is awesome but I'm not out enjoying it. Stress can knock me over quicker than anything and that is what happened and I ended up glued in one spot, physically rooted with my mind going 1000 miles a minute, trying to figure out a solution to all the major problems that popped up within the short space of three hours.

I've gotten most of the issues resolved, the rest will take time but will work themselves out as well, it's just the stress of having everything thrown at me all (it seems like) at once. But, it's a little better now and I had a pretty restful night as well even though I did get up a little before 3 a.m.

Today the rain is back which means no outside for me, no getting dressed (pj day yet again) and naps upon naps. Sounds not so bad right? Nap whether I want to or not. Not so fun.

So, determined to "choose my attitude" we made it a Bones marathon day and I worked (in between naps) on some of my journaling goals and soothing my "crumpled feels" as my kids like to say. I don't have my feelings hurt very often but when it does happen, sometimes it's a complete crusher for me. And that was a big part of yesterday so today was my "re-coop".

Happily I can say not a wasted day :)

Mission Accomplished.

So, now...

Bring on the Wonder
Bring on the Song...

Getting better...

Rough morning waiting for it to get better. IT WILL! Just the waiting is quite the *pain*...hmmm...apparently brain fog has not affected my dismal punning abilities...

When I started this blog (again, lol) I wanted to chronicle my life, my life with my cocktail of chronic illnesses and the stresses, to keep a record. An honest one, not to honey coat or overly demonize it, just that there can and is a good life in between these layers of gunk. Sticky and spicy and sweet. A beautiful life.

I hate talking about pain, I hate talking about body functions I hate admitting I'm in pain. There is nothing anyone (including me) can do to change it, it is there and will be there for as long as it is and then it will be gone for as long as it will be. I don't like it, when I was growing up to admit pain was to be weak (still is). But I'm not weak. I know this. I would have taken a powder, stepped out, pulled the plug, turned out the lights a long time ago if I was. I'm not weak. But I'm not a super-hero either. I didn't want this blog to be a constant whine of how shitty I feel or am doing, or both. I wanted it to be an honest look of how one person copes with a myriad of illnesses disability and the ridiculously low pay that goes with it.

Hmmm...do you see the conundrum? I talk about my pain or nausea I feel like I'm whining. Can't help it. Refer to my statement about growing up and weakness. And weakness was nothing you wanted to show in my childhood home. Ah, and those of you who know me probably knew I didn't grow up with Ward & June Cleaver or Ozzie & Harriet. But what many of you didn't know is was how skewed it was. If anything it was something akin to Christopher Titus and his fractured family. The stuff they don't show on TV, even HBOhhhh...

According to the new (idiot) doc I should be happy the metformin kicks itself through my intestinal tract like an epileptic on poprocks & crack, it keeps the weight I *should* be gaining from the glipizide off. The diabetes meds are keeping my blood sugars "on target" never mind the pummeling my kidneys are taking and the violence to my back, stomach, intestinal tract and colon...speaking of...oh my...BRB.

Never mind being unable to walk from the back pain and spasm equals "crippling". Whadaya mean your back muscles are so exhausted you can't sit up? Whadaya mean crippling diarrhea? "There is NO SUCH THING. YOU READ TOO MUCH and believe too much of it, not everything you read on the internet is true." So, not only curt dismissal but added injury, insult and extra salt to pack the cuts with...

Listen, this is me, my body, I'm telling truth and my immediate family can vouch. Lots of pain and things that cause exhaustion. But oh the ignorance from supposed trained medical professionals. I would think if maybe they weren't "trained" in the area of chronic pain and autoimmune diseases they were at least trained to remedy their ignorance but oh how they cling to it! Ignorance! Fighting with that mindset is so exhausting!

Thinking on the matter more I guess I really should be happy about the glipizide placing me in holding pattern concerning the weight loss...because if it had kept going the way it was, at a low calculated average monthly rate, well, I'd be 20-30 lbs down (in less than six months) and actually 10-20 lbs under my "target" weight. It works almost like a tape worm anyway, I can eat whatever I want (whatever I can "stomach") and STILL lose weight. All you perpetual dieters out there, don't get envious though, remember HOW I drop this weight, perpetual crippling back spasm inducing violent projectile diarrhea is nothing I would wish on anyone. Not even my ex...well, maybe...er.. ok...moving on...

Don't care, gonna be a good day! :)

Oh what a lovely morning taking ms Crabass in to town with me. She is repeatedly reassuring me it's Monday and too (*%$##*^& early! LOL, whatever! I've already been to Elma and back to boot bwahahaha! Don't care, gonna be a good day! :)

South Sound Family & Sports Medicine...BOO!!!

Just started here after the clinic in Elma closed. Reception staff is great, no problems there. Had two visits in two months, my diabetes prescriptions were screwed up from the get-go...and the guy had the bottles with the amounts/directions in front of him while writing the new prescriptions. Always writes EVERYTHING for no-refills (my diabetes medication is not going to change from month to month).  This means I have to call in to the pharmacy for refills at least 7 days before they are due because they have to send a request to the doctor's office to be refilled. This can take up to a week. I am diabetic and this is like playing Russian Roulette with my meds if there is any kind hold up on the refills. This isn't the only issue but it is a big one. General care is poor, medical professional (not a doctor) seems uninformed not only concerning my health history but about general health conditions that have bearing on possible treatments and solutions. I was told when I asked about possible alternatives to metformin as my digestive tract is hypersensitive to the metformin which results in severe stomach discomfort, bloating, pain and severe violent diarrhea (for which I have been hospitalized for in the past and which is in my records but the guy seems clueless). "Well...it's working on keeping your blood sugar down, so we don't want to change it, just eat more celery and carrots." Seriously. Looking for a new Doctor ASAP.

Forever and a day huh?

Seems like it's been that long since I've posted here anyway, lol. Been busy, wish I could tell you I've been busy making tons of Art (with a capital "A" mind you) and making tons O'Cash. Nope.

But I wish I could, lol.

I've been pretty sick, the weather has FINALLY started to change for the better and since that affects me severely anymore, that has been a big factor in me doing ANYTHING.

So, the weather has gotten a little better and so have I. Then I feel pretty good on the nice days and do crazy stuff like I'm my old self. Crazy stuff: take the girls out in the boat and row around the lake and the island. Two hours later: OUCH my lower back had a fit and spazzed all the way out. Then I threw up from the nausea from the pain. Then I passed out from exhaustion---not from going out in the boat mind you but from the back spasms that came afterwards.

Some days are diamonds, yes, and some days are just shit.

The diamond days are few but they make up for the poo days but it takes a lot of work to stay upbeat. Some days I don't make it either but frankly, everyday I don't give up is a positive day. And when I say "give up" I don't mean acknowledge that I am unable to do what I wanted to do for the day and I must take to my bed to rest and take it easy. I mean give up and take to my bed from depression due to the fact that I can't do a damn thing due to pain and exhaustion from pain or whatever illness, nausea BS my body is going through at the given time. Giving up. Not wanting to go on with life. Conceding defeat and that this bullshit condition wins and is great than my will. NOT! I have this illness, it doesn't have me. As long as I can choose my attitude I choose to go on. And it's hard but the alternative wait...what alternative you ask? Well, *THAT* alternative that I refuse to discuss, because I don't have time for it. The leading cause of death of people with Fibromyalgia (FMS) is suicide. I would be lying if I said I had never ever thought about it. There have been some episodes in the past where I was so sick I thought I was dying and then got even sicker and was actually afraid I wasn't dying fast enough. Dark, dark days. I ended up in the hospital (more than once) due to the fact that I was actually so physically sick I was very close to dying. Uh duh, right? Not so, it's like having the worst flu EVER and being run over by a truck, you are pretty much out of it. Or want to be if you are coherent enough to think.

Fibromyalgia and/or CFS (I do have both) by themselves rarely fatal. In my case, I have Chronic Epstein Barre Virus (CEBVS) also known as Severe Chronic Active Epstein-Barr Virus (SCAEBV)  in addition to having FMS, CFS, Diabetes and a super long list of problems/conditions that (now I know) were mostly stress induced, which helps me by me minding my stress level now but the major damage is done.

CEBVS makes everything else more serious if I go out of "remission" for lack of a better word, so in my case, FMS can become fatal if paired with a CEBVS episode if I'm not very careful. CEBVS is basically like a severe case of Mononucleosis (EBV is commonly known as mono or the kissing disease) but the difference with CEBVS is that you've got "Mono for LIFE" . Oh Mono, lots of people think, the kissing disease...not serious...

But...in SCAEBV which is a rare Epstein-Barr virus associated disorder (which of course, my luck you know, rare=weird with doctors in general, lol) this disorder can cause chronic tiredness and fevers and sometimes be complicated by life threatening problems such as multi-organ failure, chronic (ongoing) pneumonia, and lymphoproliferative diseases (diseases involving the lymph nodes which could eventually show up as leukemia or a tumor). The reasons for the body's inability to control the EBV infection are still unknown and no effective treatment is currently available.

So...at the first signs of a possible CEBVS episode, I clear my calendar and concentrate on doing everything within my power to avert it. I also always keep in mind not to over-do, not to skimp sleep, eat regularly, take it easy and plan relaxing and self care measures and follow through.

That said, I really went off here, I see that now, lol, but it's rest time again and for now, I'm outta here...just another "day in the life"...Hope y'all have a great one! :)

Spring? Where?

So, this crappy damp cold weather has been kicking my butt. I've been been really struggling to get the basic stuff done let alone planting and remodeling and ugh. I'm just now coming out of a several day haze. I slept mostly. And was still tired. I'm feeling a little better so YAY, even though these last few days are a bit of a fog.

But I did finally get some of the planting done. I got the corn, kale, sunflowers and pumpkins planted. So still waiting to do the tomatoes and peppers and still seeding the rest. Still, looking better. This weather had been ridiculous though, rain, rain, rain, stormy rain and drizzle oh...and did I mention rain? Yeah. Rain.

My desk is set up in the studio but I've been too crippled up to get out there to attempt to do anything, let alone sit in the chair. It's very frustrating but it is going. Slowly yes, but going. I'm just very tired of waiting is all. There is progress being made and that's what counts :)

I am excited about a project I am doing with some other physically challenged artists this upcoming month, aka "Bead Soup" which reminds me, I have to go get my packet I'm mailing out ready to go for tomorrow...the deal is we come up with $20 worth of beads out of our current stash (no findings,wire, clasps, etc, JUST beads) and send it to our swap partner who will do the same with theirs. We take a pic of the beads we receive and then a pic of the finished product we made with the bead soup we were sent. Then we share the pics. There are about 20 plus of us doing it so there are going to be some great projects to be seeing at the end of this :)

Now...I better go get that packet ready! :)

Looking...

Sol Duc, Olympic National Park---another of my favorite places :)

Looking for peace today and hoping serendipity will drop some previously unseen beauty & joy while I'm soldiering on with the daily... :)

The last two days have been pretty rough. Both emotionally and physically.

No planting on Wednesday, instead a flying trip into the vet to meet mom, her horse Shadow was going in for a routine procedure (floating her teeth) and there was a problem with the anesthesia and she hit the ground 0.3 nanoseconds after the shot and started doing the fish on the concrete...vet didn't even get the needle fully plunged...Shadow is doing quite a bit better now but when mom called, it was looking very grim. She's all banged up and she spent the night at the vet's for observation but it's lots better than it was, my poor mom, that is her BABY!
So, what happened was when the vet gave Shadow the shot he missed the vein and hit the artery, the anesthetic went straight to her brain and she immediately fell down in the posts (at the vet's) and seizured and thrashed on the concrete floor for quite awhile it was horrible. So in addition to all the neural/muscular problems with the shot gone wrong she's all banged up & torn up from the fall and has numerous scrapes & cuts from the concrete floor. She's got a huge purple & red goose egg above her left eye. Looks like she lost a bar fight, poor horsie! They kept her for 24 hour observation and the vet said he was STILL going to float her teeth.
Then yesterday we were finally given the green light to pick up Shadow, talk about one of the *worst* vet visits ever...but she hopefully has a full recovery. Just wondering...Who pays when something like this happens? I mean besides the poor animal and the trauma to the owner, does this mean my mom has to foot the bill for the emergency care that wouldn't have been needed if the vet hadn't screwed up?

 Well, it turns out they didn't float her teeth (the vet said he was going to) and they socked mom 75 bucks for almost killing her horse & then saving her by the mostly luck. BRADY VET, your decision making, financial decisions AND vet skills concerning this incident SUCK!

Shadow is home and seems to be recovering but she's pretty "flighty" right now and who could really blame her!

In the midst of all this, yesterday was a 2 at the same time full vicodine day. Very bad. Things are better today in that department so yay. Any improvement is an improvement.

Trying to get stuff ready for planting and get back into the studio and hoping I don't have to try to go to the ER to attempt to get some relief.

I'm a little worried but I'm trying to ignore the pain and the rest of it...ok, gotta go try to do something now...

Tight Tuesday...

On my second lidocaine patch in 36-48 hours on my shoulder. Thinking seriously about putting two more on my lower back. Hurtin 4 Certain...my fb status this morning: "I'm having some trouble but I sure like walking. And sitting upright. On my second lidocaine patch in 36-48 hours on my shoulder. Thinking seriously about putting two more on my lower back. These things are $$$$ and I don't know if I'll be able to get anymore but really? Did I mention I like walking? And ah...you get the point."

Ah...I'm sure you get the point, lol.
It's a little after 10:30 and I've gotten quite a bit done (for me) considering the last few days. No. Still haven't been able to put a bra on for more than 55 seconds due to the shoulder (tried yesterday) but, still...getting there I think :) I will try again today, just not right *this* minute. The day is still young. Ahem. Relatively.

Older kids are off helping their grandparents at the beach with their stuff today.
Tomorrow I need to go to town and pay on phone and buy household items (won't take me long thank God) and
Thursday my son might have to go over to grandmother's across lake to help out over there.
Friday I need a ride to town to mail off the rent (yay, another month covered).
Saturday I might be able to get into my trailer that has been sitting here since last Friday.

Maybe. My body permitting.

11:00 and I did it! I got my bra on and I've had it on for over 15 minutes! I haven't had one on (except for that rotten 50 seconds of agony the other day) since Thursday night. Little victories are still victories ;)

NOW...off to *try* to *do* something. Something little. But it'll be something! :)